Even in the Midst of Chaos

Yesterday morning, I went out into our backyard and plunked myself down in the middle of, what should have been, a pathway through our garden.  Sadly, it had become so overgrown with plants and weeds in the past few weeks that the path had all but disappeared.

Yet even in the midst of that chaos of wild growth, I knew the path was still there.  It just needed to be revealed.  So there I sat for hours, patiently picking and clipping, digging and rooting all those things that needed to be cut back and pruned.  I removed all those things which weren’t helpful for the growth of the plants we wanted to grow, all the while knowing that even what I was discarding would become compost for new life again.

It was very restorative and restive, sitting in the shade of the trees around me, sheltered from the heat of the sun and listening to the sounds of nature and humanity around me.   They weren’t always harmonious sounds but they were the sounds of life being lived, each of us in our own way, and isn’t that something to be truly celebrated.

Today I woke up with a fresh expression of peace in my heart and I know that no matter how dark the darkness deepens, it can never put out the light of God’s love for all of us and all creation.  We are blessed just by being God’s creation because through that gift of life, we come to know how strongly we are held in God’s embrace through every time and every moment.

Today, my prayer is that you will see this peace & blessing rising strongly in your own heart and we will celebrate together.

Peace & Blessings!

 

 

A Rocky Start continues…

Often our best laid plans in life take turns we could never imagine and, as much as we try to direct our days, there are events that are completely beyond our control.

The last time I wrote to you, I was so very happy to report that the birth had gone well but I’m afraid there were complications following the birth for the mother which made the last couple of weeks tense.  However, once again, I am happy to say that all is stable again and all is well.

Then, while I was still in Saskatoon, I received word from a dear friend in Guelph.  It was the day before Mother’s Day and her heart was breaking as she told me that her 14-year-old daughter had died that morning from a cancer which she’d been struggling with since November.  It was shattering news and I was so grateful to be returning home because I was able, for these past few days, to be with the family and to lead the memorial service yesterday.

Needless to say, this kind of grief runs deep and it runs hard.  It’s a pain of loss that is the worst kind anyone could ever encounter.  However, when we looked around us, there were so many signs of angels that we knew we were not alone and there was such a depth of love and compassion going so far beyond our own human capacity, we could only thank God.

Today has dawned brightly and, while I will still be journeying with the family, I’m also planning to relax into the rest of May as Dale & I prepare for our time away.

I want you to know that my heart is always with you and we are never apart through our prayers.

 

Things often happen quickly…

Last Tuesday I was recovering from a bout of the flu.  By that night, I was in Saskatoon awaiting the birth of my grandniece.  I’ve not had access to the internet until now but there is much good news.  Madalyn Christine Smith was born Thursday morning at 9:12 am with both mother and baby healthy and happy.  It was a very long night but both grandma & great-aunt are also surviving nicely. 

I only have a moment to share… but I really wanted to let everyone know that all is very well!

 

A Rocky Start

Last week was my first week away.  It started with a course at Five Oaks led by our moderator, Mardi Tindal and based on Parker Palmer’s work around “Courage to Lead”.  The time was both productive and restful. The rest of the week was spent tidying up my office (which isn’t yet complete) and finishing some work still left behind.

At this point, I had high plans of entering into the “holiday” period of my time away.  However, I came down with a major cold which has curtailed my activities dramatically.  The good news is that I have the time to recover well.

My next step along the way will be Saskatoon to participate in the birth of my grand niece.  It looks like the doctor’s plan is to ensure that she has an early arrival so I expect to be gone within the week.

Blessings to you all.

 

Saying Good-bye

“Good-bye” is such a familiar word.  Perhaps it’s because we use it so often; when the kids are dropped off at school, when a friend leaves after a visit, when family members head off down the driveway after the holidays.  The difficulty with good-byes comes when the time of separation lengthens and the attachment is strong.

Yesterday, I said “good-bye” as I turned away from Lowville and Nelson to spend an intentional time apart.  It felt like leaving home but I’ve done that before, so I know the feelings.  I also know that we can never be separated because I’m taking everyone with me through my prayers.  It makes saying “good-bye” so much lighter.

It also seems so appropriate that this is happening in our Easter season with the warm and wonderful message that nothing can ever separate us from the love of God and through that love, nothing can ever separate us from each other when we come to stand within that love.

We are so blessed!

The Breath of Life

Every morning as I awake, the first thing in my conscious mind is the breath I take.   There are some days when I just like to lie in bed and marvel at the mystery of it – when I decide that I have enough “time” to do it.   And I know that breathing happens when I sleep; it must.  But in that glorious moment when I awake, I come to know it intimately, drawing it deeply into my body, my heart and my soul.

From the beginning, God breathed the breath of life into us and away we went!  And while not all pathways in life are chosen wisely nor all wisdom heeded, the amazing freedom of life is always exhilarating and it begins with a simple breath.

I woke up this morning, grateful for the breath I was breathing.  I was grateful for another dawning day and for each moment which will grace it.  I don’t know what today will bring, but I do know that the One who breathed that breath of life into me from the beginning, is also the One who chooses to walk with me, breathing that breath of eternal life for you and for me.

God blesses each day!

Easter dawned so bright.

It was incredible down by the creek on Easter morning for our first service of the day.  I know that many of us woke before dawn.  For myself, I quietly crept around our house getting ready because not all of us are early risers.  Then I let myself out into the crisp morning air.  The road in front of our house was deserted but I wasn’t the only one up.  The birds had already begun to herald the break of day.

Driving to Lowville in the early morning light which is always the freshest of the day, reminded me of that day so long ago when the women went to the tomb early.  Dawn comes with a special kind of light that only happens at break of day.  It seems to slowly and gently enter every dark place and it comes to make things sparkle with new life.

We gathered in the park by the creek.  Our processional hymn was played by a pilated woodpecker.  Our opening time in the service was refreshed with the sound of the other birds and our own hallelujah’s opened our hearts to all of God’s creation!

What a blessing and what a gift to be in such a community of people who come to share this great good news.  And it didn’t end at the park.  Breakfast was served at the church.  Then there were two more services with people bright and alive with the new life that is given to us and for us.  It’s a life that goes so far beyond death; we know it has no end.  Hallelujah!

Then yesterday happened.  It’s the day the world still calls “Easter” Monday and I was out and about, tending to errands that had been postponed.  But in my travels around the city, I began to notice that Easter decorations were beginning to disappear from the stores.  I began to see that all the worldly signs of Easter were being put away in boxes, almost as if it had never been.  I smiled because I knew differently.  In my heart, the hallelujah chorus still sings – just as I know it always will!

God bless you, all!  And may this amazing light and grace of Easter which shines for us, be in your eyes and in your hearts throughout all of our journeys!

Time is short…

Most of you will know that I’m just over 5 feet tall and while I know I’m not the shortest person on earth, I’m equally sure, having been at enough parades and in enough crowds, that I’ve never been considered “tall”.  In fact, most people would describe me as “short” which has never really bothered me but it has caused me to wonder on occasion, how my perspective would shift if I was taller.  I’ve wondered how people would look to me, if I was looking down  instead of “up”.

Time is often called “short” but that has far more to do with length than height.  However, it came to my mind as it began to dawn on me that I only have three weeks left before I go on my sabbatical.  With that said, my time feels very “short” and it feels like there isn’t “enough” of it but that may only be a sign that my perspective needs to shift.

From the beginning, we have all been given both day and night which mark all of our time.  Yet so often in this world, we live in a perspective that moves us far beyond any day.  We tend to live within our weeks, plan within our months or years and we look back upon decades…when we are old enough.

But ‘our day’ is that unit of time which God saw was good.  And I must confess, today has been one of my favourites.  Being Palm Sunday, we were so blessed with our youth and children leading the worship service.  They told us the story through scripture readings and drama.  They led us in prayer and guided to us to giving through our offerings.  They reminded us that God calls us to give and they led the way by giving so much first.  All of this in one short day and yet a memory of a lifetime.  Yes, time can feel short and even this day has passed quickly but, like every day, it started only with mere possibilities and now, reflecting back, it was far richer than I could ever have imagined.   And really, nothing more is ever needed – just today.  It’s enough.  It is always enough.

Hold On!

Mark 8: 31-38

Jesus was trying to cushion the blow.  He knew what was coming and he wanted the disciples to know that his Way would not be an easy one.  After all, he was heading towards the cross and while that was hard news to hear, it was an even harder way to go.  So it’s understandable that his disciple Peter reacted boldy and quickly, by telling Jesus, “Hold on!  It isn’t supposed to end this way.”  Indeed, he probably wanted to say, “it can’t end this way”.  But Peter was wrong because this was Jesus’ Way.

I don’t mean to judge poor Peter.  I think it’s pretty much human nature.  After all, don’t we all yearn for an easier way?  Wouldn’t we all like to avoid life’s hardest moments.  And if we can’t change it, shouldn’t we be able to fight against it?  Failing that, can’t we at least, run away from it?  Avoid it, all together?

That was the pattern of the the disciples on the night Jesus was arrested.  They were still following him because they had promised they would, even after hearing his predictions.  But when Jesus was arrested, Peter wanted to fight.  They all did.  They even drew swords and one slave was injured.  Yet that wasn’t Jesus’ Way, as his healing of the slave showed us.  Then, when they couldn’t ignore it and couldn’t fight against it, they ran.  They all stopped following and fled for their lives.

The fight or flight syndrome is one which seems to be ingrained in our human nature.  It was also in the English people as they suffered through the 14th century, watching and waiting while over half of their population died of the plague.  Many probably railed against it.  Some may have tried to fight against it.  Some probably even tried to run from it but it was too much for so many.  However, there are also stories of those who chose to stand firmly in the middle of it.  People who in faith, chose to live their lives deeply connected to God and who through these hardest of times, even grew stronger.

From Julian of Norwich’s divine revelations:

Would you learn your Lord’s meaning in this thing? 

Learn it well - Love was his meaning.

Who showed it to you?

 Love.

What did he show you?

Only Love.

 And for what reason did he show you?

For love. 

Hold on to this and you will learn more of the same.

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Through Thick and Thin

Often, when people hear that I’m going on a sabbatical as a minister, they think “spiritual journey”.  Some assume that I’ll be going somewhere else.  However, a trip away isn’t a requirement for a ministerial sabbatical.  That said, I am planning to study English Christian mystics of the 14th century, so Dale & I will be spending some time in England.

When I tell people that our destination is ”England”, I often find myself faced with puzzled expressions and the next question is usually, “aren’t you going to Iona?”   I think that’s a fairly natural response.  After all, Iona is an internationally known pilgrimage site and, being so close to England, why wouldn’t I go there?  After all, Iona has been experienced by thousands as a “thin” place; one of those unique geographic spots in our world where people have sensed the Spirit of God far more closely and deeply than in any other location.  These “thin” spots are places where we find God rising in our hearts and becoming a felt presence in new ways that nurture our souls strongly.  Like a breath of fresh air, these places fill our lungs with the breath of the first dawn which is also our last and eternal dawn.  So why on earth, wouldn’t I be going there?  Well, I can only offer one answer.  It’s because I don’t feel called to be at that place at this time and through my discernment, I know I must follow the call of the Spirit because that is the only way I will find the “thin” place which is calling to me.

However, I must confess that when I started planning for my sabbatical, a “thin” place like Iona was exactly where I wanted to go.  I yearned to make a journey to a ”thin” place where I could rest.  I wanted to find a spot where my spirit would be renewed and refreshed.  But as usual, my best laid plans weren’t God’s and I’ve been awakened to an amazing grace of different “thin” places.

Last week in my congregation, we laid to rest a beloved woman.  Today, I’m preparing a funeral for another deeply loved woman.  Within each of these times, I’ve felt as though we were standing in incredibly “thick” places because there is a palpable heaviness to grief which holds it’s own weight and so often feels like a heavy burden.  Yet when we are together, giving thanks for their lives, we can find ourselves in such a thin place where the Spirit holds us and carries us through.

For my sabbatical, I am seeking thin places but not just in England.  I will be looking for them wherever I am because regardless of where we are and whatever we are doing, God is with us… and it is always through thick and through thin.